


la douleur exquise

by orphan_account



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 15:19:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8896495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: la douleur exquise: the exquisite pain of wanting the affection of someone you know you can never have.
    There was nothing fun about running around Parisian sewers.





	

**Paris.**

Ah, Paris, its old buildings, its designers shops, its flowers vendors trying to charm the ladies from the streets, its romantic ambiance…

And its strikes, its pollution and its sewers.

Alec hadn’t planned on spending the night running through the sewers, rats chipping away not far from them in the obscurity, but yet here he was, watching the fire of Clary’s hair leading the way, followed not far away by Jace. He was closing the line, Izzy barely a step ahead from him, and couldn’t stop himself from rummaging his thoughts – visiting Paris in the middle of February was nowhere as fun as some people made it believe, especially ankles deep into the dirt of the Parisian sewers.

Clary and Jace weren’t very discreet, the sound of their voices carrying away in the tunnels, but Alec couldn’t bring himself to try and shush them up – he still felt a pang in his stomach every time he heard the sound of Jace’s laugh. The past months had been hard enough on everyone that they could enjoy their little trip to Paris in peace, even if it meant running around in the sewers looking for a vampire who, apparently, had a lead on Valentine’s activities – or so the Clave had told them before sending them here.

His eyes were still fixed on Jace’s back and he barely noticed his sister slowing down, so that they were now walking side by side.

“I hope this isn’t a bust,” Izzy whispered, careful not to be heard by someone else. “Getting a lead on the other side of the ocean sounds almost too good to be true…”

“Chernobyl is closer from here than from New-York,” Alec objected in the same tone, catching a couple of rats running away from the corner of his eyes. “And if Valentine’s still aboard, he’s gonna need to dock in a damn port at one point or another. There’s one not too far from here, apparently.”

“Despite on how you define _not too far_ ,” Izzy replied with a wince, and yeah, okay, he might have been a bit lenient with his estimation of distance here.

“Well, we’ll find it soon enough, if we ever manage to get to that vampire’s lair… Seriously, if the guy is living in Paris, why the hell he is hiding in the _sewers_?”

His voice was a bit louder than he had expected and Jace half-turned towards them, interrogation on his face, before slowing down. The distance between them had grown to be a bit too much and it had become necessary to close ranks again – especially when they didn’t know their environment or the kind of creature they might encounter. Rats weren’t a problem, but demons in the sewers? Not so cool.

“Paris’ reputation as a romantic city is _seriously_ overrated,” Clary mumbled, rolling her eyes, Jace gently patting her arm, the gesture full of affection and complicity.

“Consider yourself lucky we’re not going through the catacombs,” Alec retorted, and there it was, the mission was already getting on his nerves.

It was going to be a long night.

ooOoo

They had ended up in the catacombs. Their contact had turned to be more cautious than was expected of a vampire, and had insisted on having them walk through multiple sewers before ending up between the bones of long-dead Parisians, insisting no one would be able to spy on their conversation that way. Warlock magic might have protected the place, but it was still more unpleasant of an encounter than it had to be – and knowing it was for… well, not nothing, but almost, had done nothing to lighten Alec’s mood.

Valentine was trying to round up more forces; the vampire knew that for sure, had been since the last few months – even though the Clave had only recently gotten reports of it, which wasn’t exactly good news. On the other hand, he hadn’t have a lot of luck with it, and had turned to Downworlders, trying to convince them to join him – to no avail. Downworlders from the Old Continent held no love for Shadowhunters – and had their own issues with the Clave – but it clearly wasn’t enough to push them into Valentine’s not-so open arms.

Disdain might have been the only answer Valentine had gotten so far, which actually had impacted his mood – and a pissed off Valentine was a Valentine inclined to make mistakes, something the Clave was eager for.

All in one, not a great sum of new information, but it had been a lot shorter to get it that way than in trying to round it up from various sources and over the course of a few weeks – they couldn’t afford the luxury of wasting time and resources on questioning Downworlders all over the world.

They had left more knowledgeable, but Alec still had the vague feeling he had somehow lost his time – and walking back to the little flat they were sleeping in for the duration of their stay had done nothing to convince him otherwise.

Jace and Clary were still too close for his liking, and Izzy’s sympathetic presence could only do so much.

ooOoo

They were taking turn with the beds – more akin to a couch barely big enough for two people once it was open and a mattress set by the floor – for their second night in the city, and he ended up sleeping alongside with Jace, this time.

Or trying to, anyway.

His _parabatai_ had fallen asleep as soon as his head had hit the mattress, curling on himself, his back against the wall, and Alec had been left trying to find some sleep too, too conscious of Jace’s body warmth to let himself fall into Morpheus’s arms. The blanket was almost too thin for the winter’s weather, but being close to someone else made it bearable – especially as this someone else always ran hot.

The mattress was hardly large enough for them not to be touching, as long as they were both lying on their sides, and Alec barely dared moving, not willing to wake up his _parabatai_. Jace had always been easy to wake up, ever since he was a child, and they all had been running rugged lately, with the war against Valentine and the regular missions the Clave keep sending them on – demons loved to take advantage of the fact Shadowhunters were distracted by something a little more _urgent_ these days.

A ray of moonlight was falling on Jace’s face, lightning up his features, and Alec couldn’t help but be fascinated by the way the shadows were playing on his face. It had been a long time since he had last allowed himself to look at Jace – to _really_ look at him and drink in the sight of him, to try and commit to memory the details of his _parabatai_ ’s face… His cheekbones were sharper, and Alec thought he could see the faint trace of a scar Jace had gotten during his time aboard the Morning Star – although many _iratze_ had been applied since then. His eyelashes seemed to have gotten even longer – if it was possible – but Alec wondered if it was due to the light. The moonlight was known to create illusions, after all…

“You’re staring,” Jace mumbled, barely a whisper, and Alec felt himself flinch.

Jace’s eyes fluttered open, staring directly into Alec’s.

“I can hear you thinking from there,” he whispered, looking more relaxed than he had been in a long time. His eyes were clouded by sleep, but there was something very gentle on his face – in the tone of his voice. “It can wait. Try to get some sleep, we’re gonna have a long day tomorrow.”

Alec nodded, not trusting his voice – and not willing to wake up the girls. They couldn’t see anything, given how the couch was positioned, compared to the mattress, but still…

“And stop running away,” but Jace’s voice was so low Alec wasn’t sure he hadn’t dreamed it.

Still, Jace closed his eyes with a sigh before moving closer to him, barely leaving a few inches between them.  Alec tentatively put an arm around him and was rewarded with his _parabatai_ snuggling closer to him, Jace’s hand coming to hold onto his tee-shirt. It had been a long time since they had last shared a bed like that – since their teenage years at best – but Alec was only too happy to welcome back the familiarity of the position. Curled onto one another as they were, it was easy to warm up – to let himself relax enough than he could enjoy the moment for what it was. Almost unconsciously, they had been keeping a distance between them for quite some time now, since their big fight, but something had finally settled with the embrace – with the knowledge that they were _here_ , together.

And it was easy to fall asleep now, holding onto his _parabatai_ …


End file.
